Reflections on the past week

The following is a summary of my scattered thoughts on this week’s dance classes and rehersals.

I’ve been lazy. Outside of classes, I haven’t practiced the choreographies, haven’t worked on my own choreos, haven’t done any strength training, and haven’t done any cardio. Oh, I mucked about once or twice with some choreo sequences, but that only lasted for a few minutes. Nothing serious, nothing real.

The week started with being sick, and I’ve been stiff, sore, and feeling a little weak. The sciatica has flared up something fierce, but that will probably subside; it needs to be worked on, though, as I’ve lost some flexibility in that leg. The loss of flexibility is frustrating. Stretching needs to be more frequent and disciplined, as does strength training – need to work on those quads and biceps. Actually, everything needs to be more disciplined.

Glen thinks I’m being too hard on myself. I think I’m being realistic. No personal beat-ups about my rather pathetic attempts this week, though – it’s okay to be sick.

Also, I need to eat more. I’ve dropped a few more pounds, which wasn’t intentional. Part of my employee benefits includes a variety of non-medicinal health perks, including free consultations with a nutritionist. That should definitely be taken advantage of.

Clumsy and stiff in class, messing up on choreographies left, right, and centre. Also forwards, backwards, and sideways. And turning. This makes me chastise myself for not practicing this week. I’m able to mentally run through the majority of the new choreographies, which is usually the sign that I’m very, very close to having them down pat. This makes me hopeful.

Tonight’s rehearsal was particularly awkward. I did get some nice compliments on my character, though, and everyone likes to be praised every now and then. I’m worried that my lack of knowledge about the old choreos will bite me in the backside. The old choreographies definitely need to be worked on, but I can’t remember some of them well enough to be able to work off my notes. I’ll enlist the help of one of my friends on that one. It’ll all be good in the end.

Still, though, I wish that I was progressing faster. Impatience rarely does anyone any favours, but it is a hard feeling to suppress. I want to be much better – I’d like to be good enough to perform solo in more than student shows. I have done a couple of restaurant shows before, but those were conceit, silly notions of my unready abilities. I wasn’t ready, but the flattery of being offered the occasional restaurant show and the idea of being able to have dance pay for itself here and there was too much temptation. Next time I perform like that, in more than a fun student show, it’ll be real. I’ll be ready not only because my instructors and peers think I’m ready, but because I think I’m ready. This line of thought was strong in my head all week long.

It’s strange, really – I’d classify this week as a rather bad dance week. And yet…

And yet I’m satisfied. Actually, I’m pretty darn happy about it all. Some new stuff was learned, I got great instruction, classes were fun, and I enjoyed the company of the assorted dance folk. They’re a marvelous group. And while I was stumbling all over the place this week, while I could barely touch my toes in my yoga class and couldn’t pull off nicely extended arabesques, I know that there are other areas in which I’ve felt some progress. It’s been a clumsy week, but a successful week. I’m not jumping over the moon with the joy of dance, I’m just quietly and calmly happy about it.

It’s a nice place to be.